The Wine Glass Story

Dale Forbes

In a previous post https://dressagesnob.wordpress.com/2013/02/14/gender-and-coaching/

I cite Deborah Tannen’s books on linguistics–which I like a lot.  Very informative.

And several of my colleagues want my version of a female/female  female/male transaction.

Here it is:

You are a woman talking to your best friend who is also a woman–very coordinated and chic.

You say to her: “I don’t know what’s the matter, I’ve broken two wine glasses this week–I’m all butterfingers!”

She replies:  “I know!  I took out two on Saturday.  Good thing they were cheap.”

Of course in fact she has not broken a wine glass in years. But what she has just done is put the two of you back on equal footing again–you both make mistakes.  Women value parity

Here is the version when you talk with a normal guy–he may even care about you.

You say to him: “I don’t know what’s the matter, I’ve broken two wine glasses this week–I’m all butterfingers!”

He replies:  “Think you should get checked?”

Men couldn’t generally care less about parity, they rather like being one up–though fortunately they also like to problem solve. . .

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